


In this Life

by Vaisra_Hecate



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Femslash, Gen, Lesbian Sex, Major Character Injury, Nuns, War, World War 2, warrior nun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vaisra_Hecate/pseuds/Vaisra_Hecate
Summary: Warrior Nun AU.I am afraid.I do not know why, but my gut feels that this will be my final resting place. This may be my final entry.42nd infantry divisionGeneral Ava-No. Simply Ava Silva,
Relationships: Ava Silva/ JC, Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 19
Kudos: 105





	1. The Battle of Kovel

_Dear Journal,_

_I am writing this on the night of September 15, 1939._

_The battle in Kovel is near._

_I will be the one leading the operation that will happen tomorrow before the first daylight breaks the night sky. My troops are ready, ready to die for the country as I am. But is this worth all the pain, the agony, and the suffering? Is it the right decision, to break the peace treaty with Poland? Was it also the right decision to trust Germany? I may never know for sure as I am only a soldier, and I am trained to receive orders and not to question them._

_I am afraid._

_Even though I have won many battles, I feel a chest tightening and nerve-wracking sensation every time I am reminded of September 16th. I do not know why, but my gut feels that this will be my final resting place. This may be my final entry._

_42nd infantry division. The Soviet Union._

_General Ava-_

_No. Simply Ava Silva,_

* * *

**The battle of Kovel, 0300H**

The battlefield was hell on earth. It's a fact that Ava knows very well.

Her ears were ringing. All she could hear were gunshots, and bombs going off in the distance and mostly the echos of wailing agony throughout the battlefield.

Ava grunted as she tried to get herself together. She has to think, she can’t have her troops lose right here. And the fact that their orders were simple; ‘Invade through the night when the Polish troops least expected’ — was falling apart under her watch, she wouldn’t hear the end of it from her superiors, even if she survives this fiasco. 

Their meticulously orchestrated plan failed. Why was it the other way around? Why were they the ones struggling to get on their feet and repel their attacks? Why weren’t they winning?!

“Gotov'te tanki! Shag!” she shouted amidst the confusion. “Da, Obshchiye!” The men and women ran towards their position and boarded the tanks, and fought back harder. 

Her soldiers started advancing through the bombs and the shrapnel thrown at them. Battle cries echoed as they ran through the fields, gunning down Polish soldiers and surprising them with their impressive skills in combat. 

Ava reloaded her gun and shot a soldier in the head on her right. She walked through blazing fires and over dead bodies, advancing with her comrades in a battle cry. She shot Polish men down and gutted them with her combat knife when they came so near. She didn’t hesitate nor shown any mercy to her enemies. 

Her troops were now getting more ground, as Polish men proved their attempts of resistance futile. She ran through gunfire as if she was invincible to them; Only to stop in her tracks as something whizzed past her ear— barely chipping it off clean from her head. The sharp object lodged securely in the crate beside her. She looked at the strange object for a brief moment before something struck her gun off her hand, scrapping her fingers and making them bleed. Then another unthinkable happened. 

Ava leaned left barely missing a thrusting knife to her gut. She blocked the damned thing with her small combat knife and repelled it as hard as she could. 

_Who in the world?_ These thoughts ran in Ava’s mind. She observed her opponent, they were a different uniform from the rest of their Polish enemies. Wearing all black-garb and chain mails over their faces like a mixture of knights and … nuns. Why are there nuns on the battlefield? And they are _hell-of-a skilled nuns._

“Who are you?” Ava said. Her opponent ignored her and proceeded to circle her, seemingly anticipating her next move. 

Ava chuckled. “Wow, this takes the top shelf of the funniest things to ever happen in my time in the field,” she said out loud. “Shouldn’t be nuns at the convent praying to their god?” she mocked. Ava shifted her footing, preparing for her opponent’s next attack.

“Better tell me who you are working with, or you’re dead” a final threat escaped the young general’s lips before they collided in a clash of knives.

Ava dodged left and right, barely missing the skilled nun’s attempt to impale her. Ava knew she was already at her limits, her blood was gushing from her arms and her hands from the attempt to stop this nun’s advances. Every kick she received knocked the air out of her lungs.

Caught off guard from a blast nearby, Ava was kicked into the air and landed hard on the ground. She wheezed, trying to catch just a little bit of cold air. She was going to die here, by the hands of a warrior nun. 

She wasn’t even surprised by now, because she knew it. Her gut feeling was right, it never failed her. General Ava Silva, of the 42nd infantry division, Soviet Union, dies at 23 years old. She closed her eyes, the only option now was to wait for the final blow. 

But…

It never did come.

The cries suddenly intensified, it wasn’t battle cries anymore. It was more heart-wrenching. It was the cry of fear. When she opened her eyes, the world stopped for Ava. 

“Kakogo cherta…” she muttered. 

Her soldiers were screaming and running away as fiery portals formed out of nowhere. The gigantic beast stepped through them like they were taking a walk in a park, impaling everyone in its path. The nuns were also taken aback by this sudden change of events. 

“Beatrice! Get the others and regroup!” the nun whom she fought nodded. Ava watched as her opponent took a deep breath and removed the chain mail covering her face, securely tightening it behind her ears and proceeded as ordered. Gone in the thick fog of the morning.

Ava could only catch a glimpse of hard cold hazel eyes.

The ground rumbled as a tank exploded a few meters away, snapping her out of shock. The young general scrambled to get up on her feet, she needed to get order running, she had to be visible. Her soldiers were running clearly frightened of the otherworldly demons coming through the field. She had to assure them, rally them to fight back.

“Come back here soldier! I don’t have cowards in my unit!” she shouted at the soldier who was seen retreating. Her orders fell to deaf ears as fear was clearly more powerful in his mind. 

Ava trudged through the battle, killing the Polish resistance that was flabbergasted by the events. 

The battlefield was once just a battlefield of normal men and women but not It was just pure carnage. Ava couldn’t believe her eyes, one by one, men fell with an anguished scream as they were separated in the middle—alive. They scream as if they were burned by fire from the inside. Ava’s blood ran cold and as her sweat. She wiped her brows with a bloodied hand and grab the nearest rifle available from a dead man's grasp. She continued to move forward—to see the gigantic creature up close. She had to kill this thing before it does more damage.

Ava fired her rifle and it proved to be impenetrable. Her eyes widened in disbelief.

“It’s a Tarask, normal guns won’t have an effect on that shit” Ava’s gaze followed the black nun with shotguns as she continued to pummel the beast with a very coordinated attack—by the orders shouted to her by a nun with a blue glowing sword. The beast finally retreated back to where ever it came from.

Ava gave a sigh of relief only to be cut short by a portal opening again.

“Watch out!” she screamed.

It was too late. She could hear the tanks firing at the Tarask but to no avail, it only comes back in another portal behind the machine and destroys them in one swipe. The tank exploded along with her comrades.

_This isn’t supposed to happen._ This was not what her men signed up for. This was… really hell on earth. Ava had to make the call. She grabbed her flare gun, concealed on her boot, and fired upwards. 

“Otstupat'!!” Just as she was about to turn away, a demonic claw ripped through the air, slashing her in the abdomen. Ava managed to get herself away, barely, from claw before it vanished into thin air.

Ava fell to the ground clutching her abdomen. Her blood was pooling on the grass. It hurt like hell, it hurt like she was burned at one thousand degrees in flames. 

The pain was unbearable but Ava knew she had to get away, it was now survival. She had to survive. She can’t die here, not in this hell hole, not by the hands of whatever those things were. Ava struggled to get up, only glancing once at the Nun who was wielding a glowing blue sword— in a vain attempt to destroy the horde of Tarask. 

Ava started running away from the battlefield, she retreated to the woods.

Then a blast erupted in a blinding blue and yellow light. 

Then everything was dark.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ava struggled in and out of consciousness and from the sharp ringing in her ears.

The sun was barely visible in the fog and the trees of the woods just outskirt of the battlefield. Ava struggles to get up, she had to, she still has to survive. She needed to get back to camp and restrategize their attempt to infiltrate Poland. She needed to know if her battalion was safe and if there were survivors. These were the only things that ran in Ava Silva’s mind. She was a winner, she was a survivor and this was only a hurdle for her. Surviving was only a hurdle to overcome. 

Ava gripped her abdomen tighter, blood was still trickling down her arms as she tries to keep the blood inside. 

Every stride felt like she was burning. Her body ached, she was thirsty and she was barely conscious. Alas, there in the clearing was an abandoned chapel. She could take refuge there and tend to her wounds. It was her only option but will she even make it there? 

She could feel herself slipping away, she was in so much pain, she couldn’t even bear it anymore. 

_Just. A. Few. More. Steps._ She kept thinking those words. Over and over again. But it failed her.

Ava fell to the ground, her breath barely there. She was dying. She was so close.

* * *

Camila ran with a glowing object perched in a metal clamp in her hand. The trees behind her were falling like an earthquake was upon her every step. She spotted a clearing, a sanctuary. She praised the Lord internally. She ran faster than her little legs could carry her only to stumble upon a dead man's hand. 

The clamp slipped from her hands and the golden object rolled just beside the corpse. She was panicking. The wraiths were upon her.Then it hit her. The body can dampen the energy emitted by the Halo. She just had to take a risk.

“Dear Woman, I’m sorry but I have to exploit you” she muttered and performed a sign of the cross. She then ripped the dead woman's back open and pressed the glowing object to her flesh. The body took it and it slowly embedded itself securely at the woman, only creating a circular burned mark in its wake. Camila then struggled to drag the dead body to the side of the forest and covered it with dead branches, leaves, and dirt to hide the body and the Halo. 

“I’ll come back for it, I promise” she muttered before leaving to hide inside the chapel. 

* * *

Ava didn’t know what was happening, she felt she was floating, dreaming. Her body felt cold and then warm. Then there was a very agonizing pain striking her from her back but she couldn’t scream anymore. She just doesn’t have the energy for it. 

_Was this what hell feels like?_ Was she going to hell for all the men, women, and children she killed?

Then a sudden burst of heat enveloped her body. She inhaled sharply, taking in a much air as her lungs needed to breathe.

Ava’s hands twitched, she could now slowly feel her fingers, then her body and then her legs. She was under a lot of debris and dirt. Was she already buried in an unmarked grave? How many days has it already been? Is this what it feels like to die? _But wait_. Her eyes shot open, she couldn’t be possibly dead, she was breathing. She was aware that her lungs were functioning and her heart was beating—very strongly at that.

She tried to struggle out of the debris she was in. She managed to get herself free from the tangle of leaves and vines. Ava upon freeing herself, stumbled towards the treeline only to come face to face with a man with bloodshot eyes and something demonic coming out of his body. Ava scrambled to get the knife from her boot.

The man, a soldier from the Polish unit lunged at her. Ava struggled but manages to strike the oozing red smoke from the man. He shriek and a fiery portal appeared and the smoke dispersed, the man fell dead at her feet.

“What the fuck” the knife fell from Ava’s hands as she looked at the person who said that.

A nun. Of course.

Ava only had one thing in mind.

.

.

.

.

Run.


	2. Ava and Camila

**Outskirts of Kovel 0800H**

  
  


She actually ran away,

Ava knew she was going crazy. She was a soldier, and yet she was running away from a petite nun! But what else can she do? She was defenseless, she was confused and scared, and the nun? She was damned armed with guns and a crossbow. She’d probably shoot her dead the moment she even walks a step towards her. So, Ava decided on the best option. She ran. She ran as fast as her legs could. 

Ava breezed through the trees, stumbling every now and then on overgrown roots. She glanced back once in a while, checking if the nun was still on her tail. After a few minutes and a clearing in the woods later, the young general decided to stop and catch her breath. “She’s probably way behind right now.” she said in between gasp, to no one in particular. 

Ava then took a moment to assess her situation. She was alive. She knew she was dying from loss of blood, from the gash, from the Tarask. Ava felt for her abdomen, there should be a gaping wound there. She felt around and finally took a look. Her uniform was bloodied, the dark red splotches tainted the beige uniform from her stomach to her pants. But the wound…

“It’s not… but how?” Ava was confused. Her skin was patched as if nothing happened. It should have been there, she felt it. She endured the pain it gave. Why wasn’t it there anymore? Was she really alive? Or was this just a dream and she just couldn’t wake up from it? Her mind was running through a lot of questions. Then, the violent images of the previous battle suddenly came into mind. Those men and women that fought beside her. She couldn’t forget the numerous limbs that scattered over the field. And the blood that painted the once vibrant green grass red. 

Her vision blurred as the memories seeped into reality. She could see the non-existent fires, smoke, and glinting metal in every direction she looked. It was like she was reliving it. A high pitched deafening sound reached her ears disorienting her further. The memory was too much for her. 

Ava felt pain like never before. Her back burned as with her head. She didn’t know which was more painful, she just wanted to rip her head and back off her right now even if it kills her. It was too much, it is unbearable. She clutched her head tightly trying to keep herself grounded amidst the agony.

“Zatrzymać! Stop! Please stop!” the nun had finally found her. She ran to a stop just a few feet away.

Ava didn’t need this right now. She can’t move an inch, she felt paralyzed by the pain. There was no way she could fight her or even resist her. And yet, she didn’t want to die there or be captured.

“D-Don’t come!” Ava tried her best to tell her off in English as the pain wasn’t making speaking a foreign language easier. She tried to be aggressive but it came out pleading, her voice trembling. 

“You have to stop! Your emotions are going berserk! Calm down!” the nun pleaded. “Zatrzymać, I’m not going to hurt you. Just please calm down” the nun slowly put down her crossbow and raised both her hands. 

Ava couldn’t think, she didn’t know if she should trust her, but she maybe needs to listen. _Okay, Ava… deep breaths._

The pain slowly receded, while the burning sensation melted away as she felt the cold breeze of the September air touch her damp skin.

“There you go…” the petite woman said, trying to take a step forward. 

Ava hissed at her, “Don’t move any closer” she said through gritted teeth.

“Alright, alright.” The nun sighed in compliance. Ava fell forward, barely catching herself with her arms. The world around her was spinning and she felt incredibly exhausted. Her limbs felt like gel.

“I can help you.” 

Ava looked at the nun as if she was crazy. 

“How could you possibly help me? I don’t even know what’s going on with me!?” she replied angrily. Ava’s back burned bright again.

“Calm down, please” she squeaked, the nun shifted her feet clearly startled by Ava’s sudden outburst. “I know what’s happening to you, well… sort of” 

Ava looked at her with a ‘What is it look’

“First, I’d like to know who you are.” The nun stated. After a long period of silence, and no reply from Ava “I just feel like it’s rude to just call you ‘hey’ or ‘that woman’. If you know what I mean” 

Is this nun really okay? Ava wondered. She was oddly really friendly for an enemy. They were at war and this girl was striking a conversation with her like they were on the first day of school. She just needs to shut up.

“Ava. Ava Silva” she said. 

“Camila. Well, Sister Camila, you know, nun and all.”

“I get it. So when are you going to tell me what the fuck is happening with me?!” 

“Right. You’re the new bearer of the Halo of Adriel”

“The Halo of what now?” Ava scoffed in disbelief. ”You’re telling me I’m some kind of host of some otherworldly object? Are you fucking cuckoo? And you expect me to believe that? Really? Why don’t you just tell me, that you injected me with some bio-warfare medicine to keep me alive so you could torture me and get information about my country’s operations?”

“That’s oddly specific. But, it is not biowarfare medicine. It a holy relic.” Camila countered.

“A holy— what the fuck?”

“—Relic”

“I know what you said. You’re telling my atheist ass is a bearer of a holy, mother fucking Jesus Christ, relic?”

“Language, please! You USSRs really have a foul mouth.”

Ava scoffed. “I refuse to believe, your ‘God’ brought me back to life.” 

Camila rolled her eyes. “It truly is a miracle, but anyway you seem you’ve still got a lot of energy. We have to go.” She said picking up her crossbow and motioning her to come.

“Hold on. Go? With you?” Ava’s eyebrows shot up, clearly surprised by Camila’s notion that she should come with her.

“We have to regroup with the others…” her friendly demeanor suddenly changed. “There is no time. Poland is going to fall soon”

Ava laughed out loud. Of course, she was still Polish, she really does need her for information. What was she even thinking believing this nun’s story?

Camila looked at her, both brows meeting in the center of her face. “It’s nothing funny. I know you want Poland to fall, but Ava, you… we are dealing with another thing aside from this war”

“You’re making a joke right? My country wants Poland to fall” she emphasized. “I lead the attack today and it’s like you’re telling me I have to join you to fight back against my country!”

Camila sighed, clearly troubled by Ava’s declaration of patriotism. “Ava. It’s not about the USSR anymore. It’s about the forces of evil in the works. If you want to survive this war, you really should think about what you saw today. Clearly, you can’t deny that. I hate to say it but, Ava, we need you. It chose you; You are our champion. Without you, the world will fall to hell. This is more than you. The fate of humanity rests in you now, in us.”

Camila does have a point, and Ava knows that those monsters weren’t from this world. It didn’t know anyone, it didn’t have a side in this war. They were just there ransacking through everything and everyone. Ava did lose a lot of her men and her comrades today and it wasn’t because of the Polish resistance or these nuns. But they were separated in half by the sheer amount of force those demonic creatures—those Tarask, have. Ava wondered if helping these nuns would also help her avenge her comrades. The thought of a temporary truce crossed her mind but at what cost? Why did it even choose her? She was the enemy of these people. What was it thinking? What was their God thinking, giving her another chance to live to save his people through her? 

“What happened to the previous bearer?” out of nowhere, Ava asked. “If you said I’m the new champion, does that mean the last one died?”

Camila was quiet. Ava could clearly see the pain in her eyes, and a tear held back by pure will. But her voice shook, betraying her composure. “Shannon. She was our leader and she died today” she said. “Shannon saved us by sacrificing herself. The horde vanished but by overexerting the halo’s power, it also drains your life”

“The blue flash.” Ava murmured. “It was her last feat.”

Camila nodded. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. Lilith should have been the one to bear the halo. But—”

“—Something happened you least expected,” Ava said, understanding the situation.

“The soldiers left in the battlefield were possessed by wraiths. You saw it right? The time you ran.” 

Ava inhaled sharply as she remembered the man who attacked her, the man who had bloodshot eyes and clearly wild, possessed. 

“We didn’t have time to put it on her. They overwhelmed us and I was tasked to keep that safe.” Ava could see that Camila was struggling, she was gripping the crossbow too hard it looked like it hurt her, but the pain of failure was more for her. She knew Camila failed when she made the decision to put it on her when she didn't know Ava was just only a breath away from death. “You’re not supposed to live. It doesn’t—never had it happened that it resurrected the dead, Ava.”

The wind howled loudly and the air increased in temperature. It was getting colder. Ava knew dragging this longer will not help them both. Camila showed honesty and Ava could not neglect that. She could have killed Camila, but something about her made her decide otherwise. Camila was genuine, Ava scoffed, too innocent to actually be involved in this chaos. She felt for her; something she hadn’t felt for anyone, she actually wanted to care.

“If, just if. I decided to come with you, how could you know you can trust me? And, what’s in it for me?”

Camila looked at her. “I can’t say I trust you now, but I have to believe that God has a reason for this to happen and I trust Him. I assure you there’s no torture involved and we can answer your questions.”

Ava chuckled. “Sounds good enough for now”

* * *

  
  


**1500H Outskirts of Kovel**

  
  


Camila led the way. The sky was turning orange and the cold September air started to pick up. Ava felt like the forest would never end as they turned tree after tree. She looked at Camila who was clearly not fazed by the fact that they were surrounded by towering greenery with little to no light coming from the thick forest. 

Ava just had to ask “Are you sure we’re not lost?”

Camila continued to walk, clearly ignoring Ava’s question of them being lost. 

“Hey!” the young general called out again. 

“I have a name.” Camila finally replied. “And no, we’re not lost” Camila took out her compass and checked it. Reading it carefully for a moment and then proceeding to walk the direction it told her. In a few minutes, they were seeing tree lines and a purple sky covering wide and long rice fields. In the center was a farm house with a candle brightened window. 

“There” Camila’s voice suddenly got energized. Camila picked up the pace and almost ran towards the farm house. 

Ava tried to keep up with the petite nun. _Boy, even in those short legs this nun was fast_. Ava continued to follow until they were at the doorstep of the farm house. 

Ava was surprised by how big it actually was. It looked so tiny from the distance but upon a closer inspection, it looked out of place. The house looked dilapidated but it was big, towering at two floors high, it had a barn house out back and a silo. She watched Camila as she knocked on the door with an unusual pattern. 

One, two minutes before the door opened and an intriguingly handsome young man opened the door and greeted them.

“JC” Camila said, then she showed him something Ava couldn’t make out in the dim light. Then JC looked at Ava sharply, his eyes assessing her and clearly thinking about killing her then and there. JC motioned Camila to come inside and closed the door slightly so Ava wouldn’t hear their conversation. Ava knew it was because of her uniform. Her military emblem was loud and bright and can be clearly seen by anyone up close. She knew this JC guy was just being really cautious. 

A few hushes with Camila; JC opened the door widely and motioned her to come in. 

“Gdzie jest radio?” Camila asked. JC pointed to the closed room and Camila walked in the room. 

Ava was left standing there, awkwardly with JC. 

“So—”

“I don’t trust you. Even though she bought you here, I’ll be keeping an eye on you” he said coldly and walked off towards the kitchen.

“O-kay” Ava left alone in the living room, sat down on the couch with a relieved sigh. She and Camila trekked for hours just to reach this farm. Apparently, they were on the other side of the hills and their target destination was just a bit farther ahead from here. Ava and Camila both silently agreed that they have to rest for the day. They were too damn exhausted from the happenings and couldn’t risk traveling straight to their destination in the state they were in. There is also an issue on how Ava controls her new powers. The incidents in the forest weren’t really exciting to relive. Ava sighed, covering her eyes with her arm. She’s having doubts. Why did she even agree to this? 

Ava jumped as someone threw clothes at her. _Of course, JC_. “Clean yourself and change to those, we don’t want people talking that I’m taking in USSR scums”

Jeez, what’s with this guy? Ava stood and proceeded to remove her uniform in front of him. JC stood there shocked and a blush creeping on his face. “In there!” he shouted his hands pointing to the room beside the one Camila entered and walked back to the kitchen. 

Ava internally chuckled. _How typical._

Ava went inside the room, a candle was already lit and a few buckets of water were waiting for her. She continued to undress and proceeded to wash her hands in water. The grime and blood soon fell with it. She washed her face and her body with cold water, it made her feel like she was really awake. Ava scrubbed hard on the blood, trying to remove them as much as possible. These were the blood of men she killed. Ava scrubbed furiously, every scrub she made flashbacks of the war invaded her mind and senses. Since having this halo in her back, the memories come back more vividly. It was like watching a movie of all the mistakes she made in her life. The halo telling her to repent and live with this new burden. Ava sighed, she touched her back, feeling the burned scar. _So much for miracle healing if it leaves a damn scar._

Finally out of bloodied clothes and fresh, Ava felt she could breath lighter, even for just a few moments. The soft white shirt over her torso was a relief from all the grime and sweat that caked her uniform. She carefully picked out her badges and stars from her uniform and wrapped them in between the clothes. She rolled them together, in hopes she could bring it with her. In the living room, Ava sat down. She twirled her dog tag in between her fingers, deep in thought. She should have been parted with her dog tag now if she didn’t survive. Only her memory would live if Camila didn’t stumble upon her and hid the halo in her back. 

“I should have died, but I’m still here. Why?” 

* * *

**2100H The farm house**

Ava couldn’t sleep. The nightmares were more prominent. Whenever she tries to close her eyes, the visions of people in agony, burning and screaming comes to mind. Very vividly that it scared her. She felt sick, she felt suffocated, she needed air.

The young general soon finds herself standing at the porch. Looking over the rice fields and the bright stars in the sky. Here, she couldn’t even hear the bombs going off in the distance. It was new for her, this momentary peace that the farm house provides her. 

The screen door behind her suddenly opened and closed.

“You couldn’t sleep, huh.”

“Why are you awake? Aren’t nuns like you sleep early so you could do your prayers in the morning?”

Camila frowned “Your nun jokes aren’t really funny.”

Ava gave a soft chuckle. “What would the others think of me when we meet them tomorrow?” she said. “I bet they’re ready to shoot me dead then and there.”

Camila sighed. “I hope not. You’re not so bad”

Ava’s eyes softened as she looked at Camila. Camila was dressed in simple clothes. She looked so young compared to when she was wearing her battle garb. How old was she anyway? Why was she there in the battlefield today?

“You’re so young. Didn’t you ever wonder what it's like not to fight in the battlefield?” Camila said. 

“I could ask you the same thing” Ava looked back at the field, and leaned at the post by the stairs. The soft breeze enveloped her. She felt relief in that moment.

“They won’t kill you. They do respect that there are things called as miracles and God’s plan”

Ava scoffed. “And I’m God’s plan?” _Why though? Why was I part of his plan?_ “I wonder why. It feels to me like this is a punishment for all the wrong I’ve done and all the people I’ve killed. I can’t even count them anymore”

Camila could hear the remorse in Ava’s voice. “Punishment or not, you’re alive. Maybe it’s time for you to make things right, don’t you think?”

“I hope it’s not short lived tomorrow” the young general nervously smiled. Remembering her almost demise in the hands of another sister.

“Nothing is a coincidence in our world. The fact that you are standing here and a living proof of that miracle says a lot” Camila leaned on the balcony, looking far as if hoping for another miracle.

“You know, if your other sister didn’t hesitate to kill me that morning, I wouldn’t be here”

“Oh. Sister Beatrice?” Ava remembers her stone cold hazel eyes. Ava’s heart skipped a beat as Camila mentioned her name.

“Yes” Ava breathed.

Camila paused as if she was thinking of telling her about something important. “I’m sorry” was all she could say.

“Sorry is a word not commonly used in war, Camila. We were on the battlefield. It’s kill or be killed. She made the right decision to kill me” 

Camila’s eyes turn to worry. “The battle in Kovel was an unusual battle. Your soldiers, some of them were already wraiths and we didn’t know which is which. We didn’t intend to kill anyone—”

“—You don’t have to explain. Its a job. Killing has always been a job for me” Ava said into the air. 

Camila could see the sadness in her eyes. She could see that Ava was struggling internally. She looked like she was contemplating all the decisions she made up to this point in her life. Yet, Camila couldn’t say anything to console her or even make things better, Ava left her speechless by her honesty. For a military soldier who was trained to kill, Ava sounded more human than most she encountered. Maybe, Ava was starting to change, even if it was only little. Camila hoped that by joining them Ava would change. That by learning about God, it would have a greater impact in the young general’s life and maybe change her ways. She prayed to God, that sparing her rather than killing her over the halo was the right message and she hoped she received it right. 

.

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“I pray it’ll change.” 

* * *

_Dear Journal,_

  
_This is General…_

_No, This is Ava Silva._

_I am writing to you in a new book as I believe I have started a new chapter in my life. I have died today just as I expected and yet I am not dead, but rather alive and is still in this world. Resurrected by a miracle I can't seem to comprehend._

_There is a new battle that my life has to tackle. A battle not against Poland and their people, but a battle against evil. I do not know if my decision was right to join Camila or if this miracle is a punishment for all the crimes that I have done and I am forced to take responsibility._

_But, I am determined._

_I will find the truth, and find out the why, find my new purpose. To see if this so called ‘God’s plan’ is the right thing for humanity._

_This is my first entry, as a champion of God, the bearer of the halo of Adriel._

  
_Ava_

_September 16 1939_


	3. Kovel

Ava watched the sunrise over the field. The soft yellow hues outlined the hillsides and the forests. It was a sight Ava never wanted to miss. Ava hummed a tune to herself, reveling in the countryside's quietness and the warmth of the morning sunlight before they have to head off. 

“Hey, you!” Someone broke the silence. A rude awakening to Ava’s imaginary peace. “Breakfast”

Ava turned to JC, acknowledging him before he strode back in the house. Ava sighed. “Could he be any more unpleasant?”

“Don’t mind him. He’s usually cranky.” Camila assured Ava that it wasn’t just because of her or that JC’s only rude towards her. Ava shrugged. It didn’t bother her that much, but she’s not foolish to not recognize that this guy has something buried with him and she felt it was due to her being a USSR military official. Ava didn’t need to speculate about it, but somehow her thoughts wondered, What happened to him?

Breakfast was modest and Ava wouldn’t prefer it any other way. Camila was being her natural self, smiling on simple things she found interesting on the table while JC focused on his bacon. 

“JC, will you drive us to Kovel?” Camila asked, taking a nibble from the homemade bread. 

JC glanced at her and continued to focus on his pork. “I will drive you as far as the outer village, sister. The army is strict near the city.” Ava wondered if it was that delicious to avoid everyone on the table. She took a taste of her own bacon to check. It’s just okay.

“I understand, that would be all right, we could walk the next few kilometers to the meetup place,” Camila replied. 

JC only nodded, “We travel after breakfast,”

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The drive was not pleasant, as Ava was squatting in between Camila and JC in his truck. She feels the tension in JC’s body whenever he shifted the stick of his pickup or turned the wheel. Ava wanted to ask, but she didn’t need to learn how the USSRs changed this young man’s life. Until Camila opened her mouth.

“Where are Chanel and your other crew?” she said, not picking up on the atmosphere. “I wonder how Zori is doing? I want to show her my new project.” Camila wondered out loud.

Ava observed how tight JC’s hand grasp the wheel. His problem revolved around these people Camila was talking about. The young general hopes this doesn’t erupt in her face when she’s beside JC. 

Silently hoping Camila gets the hint, Ava eased the situation by confiding her concern to the nun. “Camila, I don’t think it’s a good time to ask him” 

“Isn’t Zori supposed to be living with you right now?” the petite nun went on. Ava groaned. Can she not take a hint? 

A lengthy stretch of silence passed before the young man reacted. The air turned frigid around Ava. She realized what this meant. She experienced this uncomfortable silence well enough to expect what he will say.

“Zori is dead.” 

Though Ava wasn’t surprised that someone died, rather she felt guilty — like she’s ashamed for her upbringing, and this shocked her. Ava remembers the turned photos in the corridor near her room last night. She took a peak, and she knew then that JC’s demeanor towards her was different because he smiled so much there. His eyes were twinkling with joy. But now, they’re lifeless. A look Ava knew so well. 

Camila’s head snapped to JC’s direction. Shocked at his statement. “What do you mean dead?” 

JC pulled over on the curb and walked out the truck. He circled it and slammed his hands down on the hood. Ava and Camila jumped, startled by the young man’s outburst. She noted the panic in Camila’s eyes as she stepped out the automobile. The young general watched as JC and Camila talked outside, everything was calm at first until JC grabbed Camila’s arm. But Camila, being herself, didn’t reprimand him and continued to talk with him.

For Ava, though, it wasn’t right. She had enough of watching. She has to stand up to his bullshit. Ava ran to Camila’s aid, grabbing JC by the arm, an intense emotion swirling in her eyes as if challenging him to hit her. 

“I tried to be all right, but I just can’t pretend it’s okay to be helping a murderer like you!” with so much anger he grabbed Ava by her collar, slamming her against the hood. “Why?! Of all people did she have to bring you to my home! You should have killed her then.” Ava looked at JC, grabbing his arm. 

“JC please, we can talk it out. It’s not Ava’s fault and you know that!” Camila cried.

Ava didn’t express any anger towards him but his words did something and that got Ava thinking, Was being a murderer all that she is? How many times has she heard it, anyway? How many people told her that? She lost count already and JC was another one of those individuals who she would forget, eventually. But why did she care about what he thinks? 

“I don’t know what happened to you, but taking it out on her or me doesn’t give you any closure, pretty boy,” 

The young man’s jaw clenched in anger, but he didn’t act on it. He let go of Ava’s collar, choosing to take a step back and kicking the nearest stone. “Damn it!” 

“JC…” Camila called out.

“Camila, let him.” Ava understands that her presence around the young man didn’t do any good to him. In fact, she knows that her one-night stay had unearthed something painful for him and the only thing she can do was get out of his way and his life. JC wanted to kill her for revenge, but he respected Camila so much that he kept it to himself, until his outburst. Ava wondered if this will be the same for all her encounters here in Poland. As a military officer, she wasn’t used to emotions like this. She hasn’t adopted to showing care on what people feel or think about them. About her. Why now? Why did every word he said hit home that it affected her? She could punch him for being an asshole, but she didn’t — she let herself absorb his anger.

“Kovel is just a few kilometers away, best you make haste” JC turned around and mounted his truck, revving the engine and driving elsewhere.

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Ava followed Camila through the rough dirt road in deep thought. 

“How can he keep it from us?“ Camila suddenly cried out. Ava didn’t look up, internally, her guilt was devouring her. She wanted to know what happened, but even if she knew — what will she do about it? Ava wasn’t naïve to go to war with Russia just because of some foolish man who can’t deal with his emotions got to her. Ava stared at Camila, she could see her shoulders sagged. Ava knew that the news about Zori weighted on the sister, and it made her think how close Camila was with this person. Were they best friends? Were they sisters? Ava noticed a small tear running down Camila’s cheek before the young nun wiped it roughly with her sleeves.

“Camila…” Ava reached out a hand but decided against it mid way. Camila continued to walk ahead, and they traveled in silence.

* * *

The city of Kovel was bustling with activity. There were military officers based at almost every intersection of the main street. Canons were rolling through the cobble streets and soldiers were marching at the beat of the drum. Ava felt parched, nervous, watching them. She’ll get caught, she just feels it.

“How am I supposed to pass them?“ she whispered to Camila’s ear. 

Camila pulled her to the side. “You’re wearing nun clothes, right? Just act natural“

Ava brushed the habit from her neck, feeling suffocated by the black garb she was wearing. “I don’t even know how to act like a nun!“

The nun rolled her eyes. “How hard can it be?“ Camila walked through the gate and the guards tipped their head in acknowledgement.

Ava sighed and heeled. She stepped through the gates and the guards bowed as they addressed her. A few strides after, they called her out. Ava’s heart skipped a beat. “Yes, young son?“ she nervously responded.

“No, Sister. It’s just— you dropped this“ the young fellow displayed a carefully folded handkerchief. Ava’s sweat intensified as she followed the object dangling from the man’s hands. It was her military insignias. In a panic, she started plotting what path she would run through if her badges fell from them. 

Camila looked at her and motioned to get the damn thing. Ava gulped and took a few steps forward. 

“Oh, thank you. Bless you, my child“ she opened her palm and the young man placed the object with care. Then Ava did a sign of the cross, the soldier accepting the gesture with a modest smile. Having enough of this awkward fiasco, Camila grabbed Ava by the arm and drew her away muttering a “Sister, we have to make haste “

Ava swallowed, “Yes you are right“

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Camila chuckled as soon as they were out of earshot. Ava grumbled with displeasure on what had transpired. She really thought she will get caught. Even if Camila didn’t turn her in, surely she would be by these men.

“I told you, it’s not that hard“ Camila gave a hearty laugh. 

“Yeah, sure.“ Ava replied deadpanned. The duo walked through the inner alleys, hoping to avoid soldiers asking and assisting throughout the city. Alas, they reached a tall fence with shrubs growing hazardously over them. Ava gawked at the structure, it was high and there weren’t any doors visible from where she was standing. Again, she wondered if Camila led them astray, lost yet again like the forest escapade. 

Ava was about to comment on the lack of doors when she sees Camila grabbing on the vines and climbed in a nun’s dress, as if it was normal.

“Are you kidding me?“ exasperated, Ava brushed her habit back and looked around, hoping no one would see them and get suspicious about them trespassing over a property. 

“Come on, hurry!“ Camila called out from the other side of the fence. This nun really knows how to make her work. Ava folded her sleeves and tied her dress for easier maneuvering. Her biceps worked, feeling that familiar ache as if she was doing rope drills in camp. She then jumped effortlessly on the other side. Years of discipline made that possible, Ava smiled to herself.

Ava took in the building before her, her jaws almost dropping at the sight of this place. It was huge, but it looked very dilapidated, like someone bombarded it with canons. The walls have gaping holes in them and rubble scattered everywhere. She could see long benches strewn all over the place and some burnt. “Where exactly are we?“

“Cat’s cradle. Or what is left of it“ Camila said, heading through the arched walkway. They wondered through the halls of the old church, ducking over fallen columns and chandeliers. She watches Camila as she runs her fingers through objects that were still intact, reminiscing about her time there. 

Ava saw the gigantic paintings of angels and saints that plastered the walls, her eyes falling on something familiar. “That’s the Tarask“ she muttered. Camila shrugged, knowing what it was, and continued deeper. ”What happened here?”

“The wraiths happened, it was a day before the battle in the fields“ she said. “They appeared here along with a Tarask“

“How—“ Ava ducked when she felt something behind her, her question cut short. A pointed object clanged as it hit the column near her. “They found us!“ Ava dragged Camila behind the pillar. 

Ava pulled out her dagger from the boot, evading just in time before another object thrust in mid air. Ava kicked her adversary in the gut. Seeing her stumble, the young general took her chance and drove the dagger towards the enemy. Out of luck, her opponent grabbed her arm and forced Ava into a choke-hold. 

Ava struggled in her grasped, but proved difficult as this person was very experienced. 

“I see you met Ava, again. Sister Beatrice“ Camila chuckled nervously. Ava’s eyes grew wide as soon as Camila mentioned the name. ”Can you at least greet her nicely next time?”

Sister Beatrice released Ava from her grip and sighed. “Why is she with you? And where is the halo?“ Beatrice noticing the lack of case that may hide the halo. Camila rubbed her neck, looking back and forth at Ava and Beatrice. 

“It’s a long story—“ she replied.

“—Yeah, Camila? Why don’t you tell her why I’m here.“ Ava urged her; Camila glared. Oh, the minor victories of annoying someone.

Beatrice looked at them, her passive face showing no hint of enthusiasm. Or if there was any, Camila probably knows what that look meant. And as if cued, Camila sighed. “She’s the halo bearer.“

Beatrice’s mask broke, shock clear in her expression. But, controlled as she was, she didn’t make any immediate sound or comment. She let the silence hang, a thousand thoughts running in her mind. 

Beatrice groaned, rubbing her forehead in deep understanding or frustration. “You’re telling me, you can’t possibly be— Oh Camila“ they rendered her speechless.

Ava laughed at this. “I couldn’t believe it either. Your face though, it was priceless“

Beatrice gave her a sharp glare that made Ava choke on her laughter. It was now Camila’s turn to laugh, but Beatrice’s look cut it short. 

“I don’t think this was wrong, I think Ava is a miracle“ Camila tried to explain. 

Beatrice regarded her for a moment. “What do you mean a miracle?“

“She was already deceased when I found her, and you know, all those things about dampening the energy of the halo… I figured hiding it temporarily in a lifeless body would get the wraiths off my track.“ she rambled on. “I was desperate, okay!“ 

Ava’s gears worked. She was dead? And then she revived? All the while she thought she was only on the brink of death. It was that long?

“And then, I went back after some wraiths were far off the distance. I waited for hours and I was sure she was with God. When I arrived, she was already standing with a knife in hand and a dead soldier by her feet. She was alive! Can you believe that! It never done that before!“

“It’s something, Sister Camila. But how do you expect we will explain these to the others?“

Camila paused in thought, apparently noticing that there were no other sisters in the area. “Aren’t they supposed to meet us here?“ 

Beatrice shook her head. “No, something happened, and they asked me to bring you back to headquarters, but this is proving difficult“ she motioned to Ava. Ava rolled her eyes. She was a person and not a thing to just point at.

Camila knew Beatrice has a point, and that she did not think this through thoroughly, but if anyone can find a solution, she knew it would be her. “Can’t you come up with something?“ the young nun cried.

Ava could see Beatrice’s frown and her scrunched eyebrows. Ava felt outcast in their entire conversation, as if they have forgotten she was also there. 

“But why didn’t you kill her?“ There it was. The question that hanged over Ava and Camila these past few days. Surely, if it wasn’t Camila; Beatrice or any other nun would forcefully remove the thing that gave Ava a second chance in life, leaving her for dead in the woods for animals to feast on, and only a memory of her name in a stone engraving will live on. She wondered if it was the better fate than this.

“I—“ Camila tried her best to come up with an answer. She knew she really fucked up this time and with Beatrice reprimanding her, she just couldn’t speak out her feelings.

Ava watched as this unfold before her eyes. She felt sorry for Camila, but would speaking help her in any way? Will this person, called Beatrice, be as forgiving and compassionate about life like Camila? But what Beatrice said next, surprised her doubting mind.

“I’m sorry, Camila. That wasn’t acceptable. God gave her life, and you were correct to respect that.“ Beatrice said momentarily after Camila’s silence. “I will handle the other sisters, and Mother Superion“

Ava let out a sigh of relief she didn’t know she was holding. Ava guessed she wasn’t as nearly ready to die as what she previously thought and that this second chance was what she wanted all along. Ava gave a small smile towards Camila, now appreciating what the younger sister did for her. 

Camila burst out a “Thank you“ and ran to hug Beatrice. The nun only clapped her on the shoulders before stepping out of the awkward embrace. Ava went up to Beatrice, holding out a hand.

“I’m Ava.“ she said. Beatrice looked at her hands for a moment, before reaching out. “Thank you for… you know, not killing me.“

“Beatrice.“ she replied. “I pray, God to guide you.” 

Ava’s heart warmed by Beatrice’s words. Ava really hoped that whatever divine intervention this was, it will guide her. And so far, she thinks God has guided her in allies path; he had lead her to individuals who will understand their differences and set them aside for a cause and, well, not kill her on the spot. She sure has a knack for meeting people who wants her dead.

“Camila, we should head out. It’s a days’ travel to the town. They need help.“

“We’re not heading to headquarters?“

“We are, but we have to take a detour. Lublin.“ Beatrice moved behind the benches and reached out a few duffel bags. She threw one towards Camila, then another to Ava’s.

“There are clothes there, I didn’t know you’re with us, you can use some of mine. Wearing a nun’s dress would be difficult to travel with“ Ava nodded. She rummaged through the pack and found some trousers and coat. Beatrice and Camila also took the chance to change out of their tunics.

Beatrice wore a simple button up white shirt and tight-fitting slacks, complementing it with a scarf while Camila wore an overall jumper. Both nun’s have removed their habits, Camila’s hair just falling short in her ears, she looked really young sporting that boyish haircut.

Beatrice’s hair kept very tidy in a bun, adjusting it before putting on a trench coat. Beatrice looked at Ava momentarily before she approached her.

“Wear this…“ she handed out a green felt hat and some hairpins.

“Thanks“ Ava proceeded to hide her golden locks.

As they were about to finish their transformation, the group heard gunshots in the distance. Startled by this, Beatrice went out to check what was happening. Her heart drummed as she saw the sky turn red.

“Camila, Ava. We need to leave, now! It has already started,“

Realization hit Ava hard. The USSR has finally reached Kovel, and that meant her troops were probably there. A lot of emotions welled up in her. This was her chance to flee to her unit, to see how they were doing and to finish her mission. And maybe to forget this ever happened. Ava didn’t know why, but her feet did not bolt to the direction of war. She stayed put. She looked at Camila, then at Beatrice. She knew this will be something she will regret further down the line. Ava was risking treason if they found out she was still alive. Ava slapped herself internally, she had already decided. There was not turning back and having second thoughts. This was not the time for that.

"Hurry!"

In haste, Ava and Camila grabbed on the duffel bags and rushed to the nearest exit. They ran into the woods, hoping that they would avoid whatever what was happening outside. In the clearing, there was a car parked by the dirt road.

“Get in!“ Beatrice called out. Ava and Camila scrambled towards the vehicle, Camila sliding into the back seat while Ava took the front, by the driver's side. Once settled in the car. Beatrice revved up the engine and sped away towards Lublin.


End file.
